Something Worth Living For
by Kalarella
Summary: John and Rodney talk after the events of "Tao of Rodney" in Season 3 and find something worth living for.


Author's Note: This is a little snippet of John and Rodney set after the events of "Tao of Rodney" in Season 3 of Stargate Atlantis.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, this is a complete work of fiction, and all mistakes are mine.

Something Worth Living For

By Kalarella

Rodney was busy going back and forth to three different computers trying to figure out what exactly he was looking at.

"It doesn't make any sense!" He mumbled in frustration.

"What doesn't?" A voice behind him asked.

Rodney jumped and nearly fell out of his chair, getting a smirk in response.

"John! What are you doing here? You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Take it easy. We just got you back; we don't want you dying now. I just came to see how you were doing. How are you feeling?"

"Like I nearly died." Rodney responded flippantly while looking at the computers once more. "I don't get this! None of these equations make any sense. I remember writing them and they made complete sense at the time, but now it's like another language!"

"Don't joke about that Rodney!" John said harshly.

Rodney looked away from his computers and turned to faced John completely, then blinked before he realized what John was talking about.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I should not joke about dying. Thank you for staying with me during the whole thing. I don't know if I could have faced that without you." Rodney apologized uncharacteristically, looking extremely awkward but genuinely grateful. He waved his hand around to encompass his almost death and what he thought of as his last days at the time.

During that time all he could think about was what a waste it had all been. Sure, he had made scientific achievements, but that did not matter if he achieved nothing else. He was not married, had no kids, and had cut himself off from his sister. On top of that, he finally realized what he had wanted since he started the Pegasus project, but it was too late and he was dying. The remembrance of that feeling was agonizing.

"Oh course." John said, breaking Rodney out of his reverie. "There is nowhere else I would have been, even if it was terrible to see you slowly slipping away."

They stared intently into each other's eyes for a few seconds, both remembering that awful time where it seemed Rodney's death was inevitable. Finally Rodney broke away from John's gaze and cleared his throat.

"Yes, well…" Rodney began awkwardly, trying to break the mood.

He stood up, intending to usher John out of the lab, and possibly leave himself for the night. However, once he was standing he realized John had not moved to make room for him. Now they were standing chest to chest, so that when he breathed Rodney could just feel the brush of John's chest against his own. Rodney tried to take a step back, but his desk was in the way. He then tried to take a step to the side and slide around John, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked up to find John gazing at him intently, with something that looked like longing and the remembrance of horror in his eyes.

"You don't realize how much someone means to you until you almost lose them." John said softly, not taking his eyes from Rodney's or even blinking. He slowly slid the hand that was on Rodney's shoulder up to cup his neck, while running his thumb along Rodney's jaw.

"I would have thought you would be glad to be rid of me." Rodney said, trying to break the mood with a joke, but it fell flat at the look in John's eyes.

Rodney's breath caught as John kept stroking his jaw. John's other hand then came into play and settled lightly on Rodney's waist and began to play at the hem of his shirt. Finally, Rodney realized what John was implying and looked away before quickly looking back again.

"When I was dying-" Rodney began hoarsely.

"Don't." John said, sounding strangled.

"Please John; I need you to hear this." Rodney said and waited until John nodded jerkily. "I could feel myself dying and all I could think about was what a _waste_ my life has been. I just wanted to live so I could do all of the things I never had a chance to do, or rather so I could do all of the things I never let myself do."

"What did you want to do?"

"It doesn't matter now." Rodney said, dismissively waving a hand. "I am alive and must do what I can to keep us all alive and defeat the wraith."

"I know our work here is important, Rodney, but that doesn't mean you can't have what you want too."

Rodney looked up at John piercingly. "But if I go for it, if I go after what I want, I could ruin _everything_."

Rodney's gaze flickered down to John's lips quickly before meeting his eyes again. He could see John hesitate a moment, before he leaned down slightly. The next thing he knew John was lightly brushing their lips together. He barely had a chance to feel the feather light pressure before John was pulling back and watching him anxiously. Rodney licked his lips, before wrapping his arms around John to bring them together again. This time Rodney initiated the kiss, which went from gentle to demanding in no time at all. John quickly deepened it and opened his mouth to lick at Rodney's lips to gain entrance. At the same time he used the arm that was still wrapped around Rodney's waist to guide him onto the desk. Rodney moaned at the feeling of being manhandled in his own lab and pulled John even closer, so that their upper bodies were touching completely.

John broke away from the kiss to move onto Rodney's neck. He placed open mouthed kisses from his ear to his collarbone and set a fire of white hot pleasure wherever he touched. He then moved back up sucking and biting until he reached Rodney's ear again and sucked the lobe into his mouth. Rodney moaned again which only spurred John on. John devoted his attention to sucking the spot behind Rodney's ear, which caused him to moan and pant and clutch John even tighter to him. Rodney put a hand out to brace himself on the desk as he began to lose the ability to sit upright. He threw a leg over John's hips to pull him even closer and succeeding in aligning their groins. Just as John was setting out to mark the skin over Rodney's pulse they heard a throat clearing from the doorway of the lab and froze.

Rodney opened his eyes and saw who was standing in the doorway. He blushed deeply, which caused John to pull his mouth away and stand up. John quickly offered a hand to Rodney, fighting a blush himself. He turned around and grinned uncomfortably at the three people standing in the doorway.

"Radek…" Rodney squeaked out.

"Uh, Teyla, Ronan…this is uh…what are you doing here?" John finished lamely.

Ronan smirked in response, while Radek and Teyla just looked shocked. "Wanted to check on McKay" Ronan grunted.

"Yes…we were worrying Rodney would be working already. You should still be in bed." Radek said shaking off his shock and then realizing exactly what they had walked in on, blushed with the implications of Rodney being in bed.

"How are you feeling, Doctor McKay?" Teyla asked kindly, obviously having decided to completely ignore what she had seen.

"Fine…a little tired." Rodney said, after a nudge and significant look from John.

"Come on Rodney, I am going to make sure you get right in bed." John said, leading him out of the lab with a hand on the small of his back.

This comment seemed to make Ronan grin even more wolfishly and he called after them, "Make sure he actually gets some sleep while he's in bed too, Sheppard!"

The sound of Ronan's laughter followed them down the hall until they were out of sight.


End file.
